16 February 2007


In the latest of a rash of NASCAR cheating scandals, Jeff Gordon’s car failed a post-race inspection and as a result his starting position has been bumped back for the Daytona 500. Not being a huge NASCAR fan, I don’t really know or care about what all of this means.

What I do like though (in case you couldn’t tell by now) are good audio clips, and this one is pretty solid.

It turns out that nobody told Jeff his car failed an inspection, until this reporter began to question him on the issue. Gordon is clearly caught by surprise.

In other news, in case you haven’t heard by now, Charles Barkley and referee Dick Bavetta will be racing each other prior to the three-point shooting contest at the All-Star Weekend. The entire race stems from this conversation with Marv Albert during a game.

The whole situation has prompted me to think about others who I would like to see race each other:

Britney Spears v. Jessica Simpson
The race of the century between the two washed-up, blond bimbo singers. A few special rules for this one… Spears needs to come sauced-up to the race and Simpson needs to run in high heels. Because let’s face it, unless they fall flat on their faces while running (a metaphor for the current state of their careers), the entertainment value of the race is considerably lower.

Randall Simon v. The Guy in the Sausage Costume
Because the sausage wants his revenge for the bat incident a few years back, and he’s going to get it doing what he does best… Sprinting around the base paths dressed as a giant wiener.

Mayor McCheese (pictured above) v. Mr. Met
It’s a proven fact that racing mascots are funny. But racing mascots with gigantic heads are even funnier. And, I’m sure that Mr. Met has been looking to wipe that pompous smile off McCheese’s face for a while (or maybe it’s just me).

Barry Bonds v. Bud Selig
Here’s the catch for this one – Selig is allowed to MASSIVELY abuse steroids for a month or two leading up to the race. I'm talking the cream, the clear, injections, pills... heck, give the guy Flinstones Chewable Vitamins if they would help. Anything to give Barry a taste of his own medicine.