29 June 2008

Who Suffers From Spain's Soccer Success? Porn

After Spain's triumph over German on Sunday everyone should be happy, right? Almost everyone. You can count the organizers of the Erotic Film Festival of Barcelona in the small minority on this one. It seems that Spaniards have been too busy lately following soccer to attend porn festivals.

This year's Erotic Film Festival of Barcelona, held in the obvious place of Madrid, only drew about 15,000 over the course of the three-date fete. Previous iterations of the festival, featuring strippers and top porn stars, drew over 50,000 people. Past festivals didn't have to compete with Euro '08, and especially Spain's 3-0 Euro 2008 semi-final win over Russia.

And thus the age-old question has been answered. We now know what Spanish men love more than anything.

"Football is one of the few things that can compete with sex," FICEB director Juli Simon told private television station Telecinco.
So there you have it. Spanish men chose soccer over sex. Or it could have been that it cost 25 euros to get into the festival.

There's always next year for the Erotic Film Festival of Barcelona. Men might love soccer, but they'll eventually remember how much they like erotic films too. And maybe they'll have the festival in Barcelona too.

(HT: Fark)

This Is Tennis At Its Finest

Who needs Wimbledon when you've got these two? This doubles pair might be better suited for an improve troupe than a tennis court.

24 June 2008

Is This The Sneakiest Goal Ever?

Not sure where this came from, but it's pretty good. Let's see you try that, Ronaldo!

17 June 2008

LIO Salutes Fox Soccer’s Caption Maker

Euro 2008 is all the rage for most of Europe. The focus this far has been on the field, but what about the girls? No, not the topless ones. FoxSoccer.com has stepped up and filled the void with a “Best of Euro 2008” gallery. Yes, the photos are good. It’s the captions though that make this gallery special. We salute you, caption writer for FoxSoccer.com, you’ve really outdone yourself! We could put them all, but here are just a few highlights.

Bastian's babe: German star Bastian Schweinsteiger sure was taking a chance leaving girlfriend Sarah Brandner unattended in the stands.

Alexander Hassenstein/Bongarts - Getty Images

Czech, please...This Czech girl shouldn't be hiding behind those little flags, or anything at all for that matter.
Armando Franca - Associated Press

Winter blanket: It's hard to imagine cold, hard winters in Russia with girls like this hanging around.

Cup glory: A fan shows some impressive 'support' for Portugal.
Lars Baron/Bongarts - Getty Images

German delicacy: Something tells me this girl isn't into bratwurst.
Vladimir Rys - Getty Images

16 June 2008

Topless Soccer: Something the Entire World Can Get Behind

Now here's a version of soccer that we can all unite around - topless soccer! It was a momentous day this past Sunday when Austria's topless women's soccer team beat Germany 10-5. Organized by of all things an internet chat room, the match was likely low on quality play, but high on quality views. Oh yeah, and good effort too. Sure, it might have been played by porn stars...so?

"I hope our men will take heart from that tomorrow. We played pretty hard, we even had some injuries, like I for example broke my toe nail," 29-year-old bank employee and Team Austria member Doris Fastenmeir told Reuters.
Regardless of what happened, nobody seemed to mind. Austria basked in victorious pride, the crowd enjoyed the good views, and the Germans didn't seem so bummed either.
The Germans took defeat sportingly and joined their opponents for alcopops and dancing at a beach club alongside the Danube.
Ah, topless soccer. Never again shall we need to ask: "why can't we all get along?"

(Photo Credit: JOE KLAMAR/AFP/Getty Images)

President Bush Isn't So Hot At Basketball Either

After soaking in Slovenia and adoring German asparagus President Bush's "Europe Farewell Tour 2008" made a stop in Northern Ireland. In between what must have been a diplomacy-packed day, Bush found some time to play basketball with some kids. And while he's quite proud of his physical fitness, he clearly can't shoot. In fact, his shooting percentage is zero.

Bush was visibly disappointed when his first shot turned out to be an air ball. Two more hit the backboard but didn't go in. His layup was unsuccessful, too.

When a young girl shot an air, Bush said, "I know how you feel."

That's not that bad. I guess I've never tried playing in a shirt and tie. But this is the leader of the free world! If you can't make a shot, keep trying. Then lower the rims. Then get a ladder. President Bush gets what he wants; heck, he'll go to war to do so. That mentality might work in the US, but not in Northern Ireland P.E.
Bush appeared to want to continue, according to the report, but the coach moved on to a new drill with the class.
Fear not, President Bush. There's good news. Come January he can go to Loughview Integrated Primary School and shoot all the hoops he wants. And Chad Ford, saying he's got tremendous upside, has slated him as a late second round pick.

(Photo Credit: AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

11 June 2008

Meet Boston’s Worst Husband and/or Most Subservient Wife

What would you do for NBA Finals tickets? Back in 2000 a Lakers fan tattooed “I slept with Shaq” on his forehead, and that was for tickets to the Western Conference Finals. But even that doesn’t measure up to this guy. This guy is trying to trade a night with his wife for two tickets to a game. And he's doing it on craigslist.

So says the ad, titled "trade my hot wife for 2 celts tickets!":

trade 1 night with my wife shes 5-4 105 brown hair eyes great body tanned toned very pretty girl 1 night all safe and normal stuff dinner movie drinks no drugs or crazy requests serious replies only must reply with a picture to be considered please normal guys only
Celtics fan Kevin Cater is the worse-half of one of the most bizarre couples in all of Massachusetts. A couple of thoughts clearly come to mind. If you take the ad at face value, and assume Carter isn’t pimping out his wife for you-know-what, why would anyone give up the tickets for that? One date that you know won’t go anywhere. Furthermore, while the ad only wants to deal with normal guys, what normal guy would do this? That’s just me wondering.

Of course, what’s even more confusing is why Carter’s wife would be down for this. Let’s give her the “Subservient Wife of the Year” award, shall we. Maybe her favorite movie is Indecent Proposal. Or maybe she’s just into these kind of things...
“I’m just a hardworking guy,” he said, “who wants to get out there and support his team.”
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you should be a hardworking guy who’s about to lose his wife.

Golf Gear Is Something McCain Can Believe In

It’s almost summer, and that means the General Election is about to start heating up. John McCain is ready. He’s gearing up and getting his priorities in order. Like his spiffy new website, which lists many of McCain’s top issues front and center. Here are the top four tabs on the website:

  1. Creating Jobs
  2. Strategy
  3. Decision Center
  4. Golf Gear
McCain golf gear: it’s clearly what’s on America’s mind. As The New Republic points out, “He may or may not be able to beat Obama in the fall, but he’s damn well going to move some tote bags in the interim.”

And while McCain may be playing straight into the Republican stereotype, it really has to be considered his base. According to a Golf Digest study, 41% of golfers believe global warming to be a myth, compared to 27% of the general public. And if you say that most people who don’t believe in global warming tend to be Republicans, then perhaps the McCain golfer push is a smart, targeted approach. Move over soccer moms, golfer guys are the new hot demographic in the electorate!

Or maybe they’re just looking to make some extra money...

(HT: TNR’s The Plank)

10 June 2008

Good Day For Dutch Soccer Is A Bad One For Amsterdam Store

Department store promotions tied to sports team performances usually are good ways to draw in fans as customers. Take the Dutch store Kruidvat. Kruidvat offered €100 off the price of a €400 computer screen for each Dutch goal during Monday’s game against Italy.

Safe bet, right? Italy is the defending World Cup champion, after all. And the Dutch only scored three goals during their brief three-game appearance in that tournament. That’s an easy promotion - - look patriotic, and make a few bucks as well.

Oops. The Netherlands won 3-0. What’s good for the country is in this case bad for the store. You do the math...all of a sudden that computer screen became a very good deal!

Company spokesman Jose Mes said the company's Web site crashed before halftime during Monday's game as it was swamped by "hundreds of thousands" of bargain hunters hoping to take advantage of the deal.

Several hundred computer screens were sold at €100 each before supplies were exhausted and the company stopped the deal. Mes said Tuesday the company apologized to disappointed customers.
Well, Kruidvat wins this one. People will love the 3-0 victory, and now they’ll love Kruidvat for it as well. Something tells me Friday’s game against France won’t have a promotion like this.

09 June 2008

After Jeering The Sun, New York Fans Have Now Jeered Everything Possible

What's hot in New York these days? Not the Yankees - they're just playing .500 ball. Instead it's a heatwave that's taken the city by storm, with temperatures reaching over 100 degrees in recent days. Records were set all over the area on Monday, making it a not very nice place to be.

And imagine sitting out in the sweltering heat on Monday at Yankee Stadium, watching your not so good Yankees lose to a really not so good Royals team. It would probably put you in the following state of mind that people collectively booed the sun.

Fans showed their approval when a cloud moved in front of the sun during the fifth inning of the Yankees-Royals game. They booed moments later when the sun returned.
That's right. During a humid, 94-degree day game in mid-June, a cloud got the biggest cheer of the game. You could say that New York fans could boo anything, and there you have it. On Monday, June 9th Yankee fans booed the one thing that supports almost all life on Earth via photosynthesis, and drives the Earth's climate and weather. That's right sun - - you suck!

C'mon Canada! Get The Teams Right!

C'mon Canada! It might seem like deja vu all over again for Laker fans, thinking it's 2004 all over again. But please, at least that series was tied 1-1. It's the Celtics, not the Pistons. And here comes the prediction that says the Lakers win four of the next five and win the series. I just said it.

08 June 2008

Odom's Charity Shirt Misses The Mark

Following a relatively ineffective Game 1 of the NBA Finals, Lamar Odom should be aiming find a way to contribute better during tonight's Game 2. Yet even before the game occurs, Odom has found a way to do something, and that something is fanning the flames of the age-old LA-Boston Rivalry.

Teaming up with sneaker store Undefeated, Odom has printed up shirts to help commemorate the NBA Finals. "Boston Sucks Since 1946," the front of the shirt proclaims, and the back says "Team Odom" along with his jersey number 7.

The shirts go for $20, and part of the money goes towards Odom's charity, Cathy's Kids. That part is nice It's a good way for Odom to capitalize on his hardwood success in order to benefit a cause that he supports. But the messaging seems to miss the mark.

Odom and Undefeated chose to go with a negative message - Boston Sucks - but why couldn't they instead gone with something positive? Too many ideas come to mind on what would have been a better choice. A choice that could be worn well beyond the end of this year's NBA Finals. A choice that would have brought positive thoughts to mind.

The great idea about this year's Laker squad is that this group has transcended the previous incarnations of one star and eleven friends and become a true team. One that's greater than the sum of its parts (even when they've got some really amazing parts). That's what makes this Laker team likable, and it's what has made them get this far. This shirt doesn't fall in line with that idea.

Lamar Odom's choice to print up shirts on behalf of his charitable foundation was a good choice. It's just too bad his messaging missed the mark.

06 June 2008

Swiss Police Asking Really, Really Nicely For Good Euro 2008 Behavior

With Euro 2008 just days away, the fine people of Switzerland are doing everything they can to make it a successful event. Part of their strategy is to be polite. See, they're asking reputed soccer hooligans to behave this time around. And they're asking really nicely.

There are about 320 people listed in Switzerland's "Hooligan Database," and they were all sent letters in recent weeks. That's right, there's such a thing as an actual "Hooligan Database." The letters, were made out to to "Dear Mr/Mrs" hooligan and titled "For a peaceful international football festival."

"We know that you are someone who does not always hold fast to the rules in sports events. Therefore, to our knowledge, you have been banned from the stadiums or served with other measures," wrote the police.

Polite, right? Consider it a giant carrot and stick measure. Big on the carrot up-front. The letter ends with a dollop of sugar on the top.

"We hope that any encounter between you and us at this event will be nothing but pleasant. If you have any questions about this matter, please contact us. The Police."

So there you have it. The Swiss police would like you hooligans to be on your best behavior. Don't think they're fooling around though. Should you not heed their warning, prepare to enter the Hooligan Prisons!

02 June 2008

Twins Fans Find A Reason To Celebrate High Gas Prices

Our nation’s soaring gas prices are providing people with long faces and tears of sorrow. Sure, the average price for a gallon of gas was $1.46 seven years ago. Now it’s approaching $5. And while most people might be suffering because of it, Minnesota Twins fans are about to benefit.

Suffering from a big slump in attendance from last year, the Twins have begun running a “Tanks from the Twins’ promotion, which will shave the cost of tickets based on the price of gas. It's simple, really. The higher gas prices get, the more Twins fans save!

The promotion works this way: Each Monday morning, Twins officials will take the current national average cost for a gallon of unleaded regular gas — about $3.93 right now — and cut that from the price of each Upper Club and Lower Reserved ticket purchased.

Regular and premium game prices for Upper Club tickets are $21 and $26; comparable prices for Lower Reserved seats are $30 and $35. Assuming that gas prices hit $4 a gallon, baseball fans buying the promotion’s eight-ticket maximum will get $32 off the group’s tickets to see the Twins.
The team points out that the decline in attendance has not been coupled with a decline in ratings for home games. And thus the thinking comes about the discrepancy has to do with gas prices. But perhaps team officials forgot a couple of things. First, the Metrodome isn't a very fun place to see a game. And it's even less enjoyable right after the team traded away its best player during the off-season. When the team isn't playing for today, it's hard to get out and spend money at a game. Watching from home? That's easy. And it doesn't use any gas!