29 July 2008

Are You Upset With Your Favorite Team's Performance? Sue Them!

Much like the rest of you, I’ve had plenty of disappointments at the hand of my favorite sports teams. And I’ve even become upset over teams that I truly didn’t care about. Why? It probably has something to do with the human connection to sports, and the inherent feelings of winning and losing explicitly defined on the playing field. Yet no matter how many times I may have been bummed out over a loss – or even a losing season – I’ve never gone the way of Yavor Bluskov.

Yavor Bluskov, a fan of the soccer team CSKA Sofia, is suing the former president of his beloved club for almost $250,000. You see, it was owner Alexandar Tomov’s fault that the team didn’t succeed, thus resulting in the "immaterial damages and mental torment" alleged in the suit.

You might think that Bluskov’s suit would be detrimental to his squad. If you really loved your team you’d root harder, not sue them, right? In this case it’s more like kicking a man while he’s down. Tomov resigned as club president in June, and was charged with embezzlement earlier this month.

Tomov may have left the team, but Bluskov still has the mental scars, and it seems that he’ll do what it takes to make him pay.

"I'll chase him (Tomov) until he pays me for the mental torment," Bluskov said.
That’s right - - and you’re next, Kevin Malone!

24 July 2008

Bollywood Over Federer, 15-0

Things haven’t been going too well for Roger Federer recently. Sure, his epic Wimbledon finals loss to Rafael Nadal was understandable. But this week’s defeat at the hands of Frenchman Gilles Simon at the Rogers Cup is harder to explain. Or is it? Bollywood might be behind Federer’s defeat this time around.

When Federer arrived at the Toronto Hilton he probably expected to get his usual level of service. And by that he’d be given “The Federer Suite,” named after himself. You might expect that you'd be able to use anything bearing your name, right? Not in this case. Despite requesting the room, Federer was denied. It was occupied by some Bollywood stars.

Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwrya Rai, in town for their "Unforgettable World Tour" were already staying in Federer suite. Now I always thought that four and five star hotels provided the kind of service to avoid these sorts of things. The hotel wouldn't budge, and Federer was forced into another room.

If Federer didn't know who Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwrya Rai are, he surely does now. But the real lesson is clear: things go wrong when you start losing Wimbledon!

21 July 2008

The Danica-Milka Duel Creates Great Moments In Journalism

By this point we’ve all heard and seen the “fight” between Danica Patrick and Milka Duno. Hugo Chavez’s favorite IndyCar driver seemed to take the upper-hand in the battle, even if it really is much ado about nothing.

BUT, that doesn’t mean people can’t have a little fun with it, right? Fox Sports has covered it like everyone else, but with a twist. While their story might have been journalistic, the poll tucked into the right-hand corner is even more so. It simply asks you to “choose your weapons for the next Danica-Milika Duel,” with cars, towels, pillows and Super Soakers as your choices. Is it really any surprise that Super Soakers have an overwhelming lead? Now all we need to is fill them up and have them handy for the next spat. And next time, maybe it will be a real spat after all!

20 July 2008

Herein Lies Ryan Doumit's Motivation Techniques

I don't know a whole lot about Pirates Catcher Ryan Doumit. But based on the photo above, it's clear that he does a lot more than hit and catch. Shown above doing the patented "Doumit Crotch-Grab" on Saturday, he's also proven to be a master motivator. If that won't get Yoslan Herrera to throw strikes, I don't really know what will.

Uh, I’m Pretty Sure This Isn’t How Things Usually Go

“Mutton Buster” Gracie Schmitt got a little more than she was bargaining for earlier in the week. At the Snake River Stampede she should have been riding the sheep. Things didn't seem to go as planned, did they?

(PHOTO CREDIT: AP PHOTO)

17 July 2008

This Shopping Spree Will Surely Be What Brings Favre Back

We all know by this point that Brett Favre wants to return to Football. But what’s perhaps understated is Wisconsinites’ desire to have him back as well. One Wisconsin store owner really wants it to happen.

Jon Gafner owns Oshkosh-based Jon’s Sports Shop. It’s a hunting supply store. So badly does he want Favre to return that should it happen, Gafner will give him a $25,000 shopping spree.

"Brett could take a new rifle off the rack, a new scope, shotgun, clothes. It's a great shopping spree. I'd like to win it."
Of course that $25,000 is just a drop in the bucket compared to the over $11 million Favre made last year. But hey, everyone has to contribute something, right? Perhaps Gafner should be appealing not to Favre, but Packers management. They seem to be the conflicted ones. And they also might need those scopes and shotguns more than Brett does.

Nothing, though, will beat the Stadium II Bar’s offer in Green Bay. They’re offering a $25,000 pizza party. And with that I’ve now added the “$25,000 pizza party” to my list of things I’d really like to see.

10 July 2008

One Grieving Indians Fan Puts His Allegiances Up For Sale

It’s a sad thing when a team trades away its best player during the middle of a season, effectively giving up on the season at hand. So what is a fan to do when their team waves the white flag? You could stop caring, for one. Or you could be like this Cleveland Indians fan, grieving over the 2008 campaign after last week’s trade of CC Sabathia.

I am an Indian's Fan who clearly doesn't have anything to root for in the next several months, but I want to find a reason to root for something to fill the hole in my soul.

Therefore, I am renting out my enthusiasm to anyone who feels like an extra fan will put them over the top.
Winning this guy’s “fandom” comes with quite the package. This dude will not only root as hard as he can for your team, but he’ll even watch at least one game a week. And not only will he “at least 3 emails a week telling you how awesome your team is,” but he’ll also “email a friend of yours and tell them why their team sucks, and why your team is awesome.”

But this fan has his limits. There are some things he just won’t do...unless you pony up. Want him to root for the Yankees? That’s an extra $10,000. It will cost you $35,000 to have him root for a team that Barry Bonds joins. And for all you Major Leaguers out there looking for a one-man rooting squad...that costs extra too.
Package F). If you are a current MLB player and want my exclusive rooting rights for you individually, that will require an additional fee of $10,000.00 (USD) if your BA > .300 or your ERA is <> 3.00 (at the time of the sale) - VOID for Jim Thome, Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds
So while the winning bidder will be employing the rooting skills of this guy for the rest of the season it really makes you wonder how much he’s willing to give. He is, after all, a turncoat fan. He’s already given up on his team. What makes anyone think he won’t give up on yours at the earliest inconvenience (such as a crushing loss, for example)? There’s at least one believer thus far, who has bid $299 for this guy’s fandom. So who’s bidding $300?

09 July 2008

There's Great Genes In This QB Battle

Things are going to get interesting this football season in Westlake Village, CA. That’s because there’s going to be a QB battle brewing, and it includes some of the best athletic genes ever.

Nicholas Montana, son of 4-time Super Bowl QB Joe Montana enrolled at Oaks Christian High School recently. So what happens when the QB son of a Hall of Fame QB applies to your school?

"The admission office called and asked, Do you know a Joe Montana? I said, Yeah I've heard of the guy,' " Oaks Christian football coach Bill Redell said. "They told me his son had applied here. I said, Gosh, that's a surprise.'
Yeah, a surprise indeed. But it’s also a blessing for the coach, right?

That the 6-foot-2 Junior QB had done so would be interesting enough. What makes it even more noteworthy is that Montana will be competing for a starting spot against the spawn of an all-time great from another sport. That would be Trevor Gretzky. You know...Wayne’s son? They would need a famous son to pass to as well. But of course. Will Smith’s son Trey is a Wide Receiver on the squad.

And so while the 2006 season featuring Jimmy Clausen might have been Oaks Christian’s most celebrated season ever, the 2008 shall become the most celeb-rified. While the play on the field might be good, here’s guessing the attention will be focused on the stands. There might be as many fans as paparazzi.

08 July 2008

Perhaps The Most Unexpected Ace Ever

Hitting a hole-in-one is pretty damn hard to do. But it also takes a little bit of luck. That’s the only way you can explain this “rubbish” golfer’s good fortune.

Occasional golfer Allan Errington, 43, was averaging seven shots a hole while playing at a staff event.

But he hit a perfect shot on the par three 9th hole and it bounced once before going in - earning himself a Volkswagen Golf.
Errington went for it all, and for once it paid off. The lucky hole-in-one must have given him a false sense of confidence, however. That might be one of the only ways to explain the fact that he lost 23 balls after hitting his ace. If he continues at that rate he’d have to sell his new £15,000 car in order to afford more balls.

Perhaps after it’s all said and done Errington should stick to playing golf when new cars are at stake. That seems to be the only kind of golf he’s any good at.

03 July 2008

Yeah, Don't Think So

Good thing they corrected this story. There's no way the Marlins and Scott Olsen are that bad!

02 July 2008

Here's How You Can Play Halo 3 With Adam Morrison For Charity

Hey, Remember Adam Morrison? The former Gonzaga star and 3rd overall draft pick of the Charlotte Bobcats hasn’t quite had the career he’d probably wanted thus far. It doesn’t help when you miss an entire season due to ACL surgery. With his season off Morrison has been able to give back a little, organizing a golf tournament on August 14th benefiting the American Diabetes Association.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone does a golf tournament. Morrison must get it, as he’s topped his golf event with something better – a Halo 3 Tournament. For a paltry $20 you can test your Halo 3 skills on August 16th at a Spokane mall, and see how you stack up against Morrison and others. Morrison probably has more time on his hands than you do, so don’t feel bad when he whoops you.

And please, don’t cry when you lose. Morrison has already shown by example that it’s not something you want to do in front of anyone, let alone the other 30 people at the GameStop in Northtown Mall.

01 July 2008

This Ringtone Allows You To Ask All Of Your Friends How Shaq’s Ass Tastes

Shaq-Kobe. It’s the feud that won’t go away. There’s even a Wikipedia page devoted to it. By now everyone knows about Shaq’s freestyle rap last week. Kobe’s done the smart thing – he can’t fan the flames if he doesn’t discuss it. But you can by downloading Shaq’s rap as a ringtone!

FunMobility has the original rap as a free download and created a premium ringtone mashup inspired by the original Shaq rap, as well as a JibJab-style animation with the mashup soundtrack.
I see how FunMobility, the ringtone’s distributor would want to try and capitalize on this. But as a consumer, I’m confused. Sure, it’s free, but you’d have to really hate Kobe pretty badly to download this. For imagine yourself at the mall, the workplace, or at someone’s house when all of a sudden the phrase “tell me how my ass tastes” blares out of your phone. Is there any situation where that wouldn’t be embarrassing? Yeah...hard to think of too many.

So if you download this ringtone, turn your phone on silent during your next important event, will you?