19 March 2009

Hockey Team Provides Man's Best Friends: Fighting and Boobs

One night after the Florida Panthers figured out the best way to bring back fans, a minor-league hockey team is following suit. Well, sort of.

The typical Vegas saying goes "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas." But with their "Over 18" Night this coming Tuesday the Las Vegas Wranglers are hoping to change that to "what happens in Orleans Arena stays in Orleans Arena."

So what happens in an ECHL "Over 18" Night? There's something for everyone. The American All-Male Review will be there. They're typically "taking it off" each weekend in Las Vegas, but on a rare Tuesday night they'll just be posing for photos. And to satsify the other half of the population Stripper-101 will also be on hand, demonstrating their exotic dancing skills. FYI - the team claims there will be no nudity involved in either of the above. Oh yeah, the sidestage will feature the Wranglers taking on the Alaksa Aces. Pair the different activities with open bar that's offered, and well, things are sure to be interesting.

And thus if you have to see an ECHL hockey game, this is probably the way to do it. And if you've lost most of your money and seen almost everything there is to see in Vegas, this is probably the thing to do. It just might be the most amusing hockey game all year - and not because of the hockey.

15 March 2009

Lunardi: Get Off Me

Two years later it's just as good. Lunardi, basking in the afterglow of Selection Sunday.

I've been looking at non-conference SOS's so much that it burns when I pee. My angst over Creighton's seeding nearly ended my marriage. That's me, straight loungin' after another year. I don't know if you can tell, but I'm pretty wasted. I was Pokey Chatman and that bracket was my former player. You're welcome. I'll see you all in hell."

--Joe Lunardi--
Hat Tip: TMG

09 March 2009

Come March Madness Do Some Snipping Of Your Own - Something Other Than Nets

Millions are expected to tune into the NCAA Men's Basketball tournament next week. Millions more will watch at work via March Madness on Demand, half paying attention to the game and half with their finger poised to press the "boss button" at any given moment. But let's assume that you want to watch the games in peace. Now there are more choices than your living room or a sports bar.

Why not watch the tournament while also checking something else off of your to-do list. Yeah, that vasectomy that you keep putting off. This year you've got choices. Austin-based The Urology Team and the Oregon Urology Institute are both offering March Madness-related vasectomy events over the next few weeks. Vas Madness, or Snip City as they're each respectively being called, provides the perfect way to multi-task.

"You know, the thing that really spurred this whole thing is that so many men aren't interested in sitting still very long," said Vikki Smith, community liaison for The Urology Team, a practice with eight surgeons. "So we thought what could be a more natural combination than sitting in front of a TV set for three days and getting a vasectomy? It's the perfect excuse to look at the wife and say, 'Honey, I've got to stay on the couch for three days. Doctor's orders.' "
Yeah, but we're still talking about vasectomies here. Such promotions are based on the assumption that there's a long list of people who not only want such a procedure but have also (probably rightly) putting it off for another day.

In the case of the Oregon Urology Institute their assumption was at least partly correct. They've brought the promotion back for a second year. Brave souls willing to do the procedure will get a goodie-bag to boot, consisting of something like ice packs and frozen peas, which is indication that it's not all fun and games. Oh yeah - they'll also get a doctor's note requiring a weekend's worth of rest. Totally worth it.

Amongst the Best Flagrant Fouls You'll See Today

Trevor Ariza excepted, this one's pretty good too. Singletary's shock won't win him any awards. Dude - you punched your opponent in the gut!

03 March 2009

European Soccer Fans: Forget the Foreplay, Put On The Jersey!

We all know how much love most of the world has for soccer. So much love, that at least in Europe, they want a connection to soccer while making it. And thus scores of European men are asking their sexual partners to put their shirts back on...but only a certain type of shirt.

In a survey that will make women and those behind Victoria's Secret alike cry, men would rather see their partner or wife in their favorite soccer team's colors than a skimpy lingerie set in while in the sack.

MyCelebrityFashion.co.uk quizzed 1,904 blokes on their favourite female bed-time fashion turn on and instead of sexy lingerie or fantasy role play costumes leading the way, the most popular turn-on for men was their wife or girlfriend wearing their favourite teams top.
And the results!
  • 34% said they would prefer their sexual partner to be wearing their team's jersey or colors
  • 23% prefer "sexy lingerie"
  • 21% went with simply nothing
  • 16% hoped to see a “fantasy role play outfit”
  • 6% just want plain old ordinary nightwear
So while today was the great unveiling of the priorities for men, it was also a sad one for women. Once again the evidence points to men preferring sports over women. Surely the backlash is about to begin.

“I think women everywhere always had a sneaking suspicion that blokes like their football or rugby team more than they should but to find out that they find women more attractive in bed when they are wearing a football or rugby top is maybe taking it a little too far," MyCelebrityFashion Managing Director Jilly Tovey said.

Hey...whatever it takes, right?

01 March 2009

ESPN's Fast Facts Cover Every Fact Possible

The San Antonio Spurs lost to the Portland Trailblazers on Sunday to a score of 102-84. In order for ESPN to tell the full story it's not enough to relate that LaMarcus Aldridge and Brandon Roy each scored 26 points for the Trailblazers. Oh, no - - we need more! And thus the "fast facts" were born, transcending the box score and going the extra mile for us fans.

Due to the ESPN Fast Facts, we now know a little bit of useless trivia we definitely wouldn't have known before: The Spurs have lost four games by 18 or more points this season, all coming against opponents from cities starting with the letter 'P' (Portland twice, Phoenix, Philadelphia).

Thank you ESPN. My weekend is now complete.